Things Girls Do That Guys Hate

A blog about the things girls do that guys hate.

Questioning Chivalry

This is something that’s needed a dissertation for a long time. 

A lot of guys get snide comments from girls in a particular setting. This setting appears often, and it can happen to YOU. I’m talking about when you enter or exit a building. Not even buildings. Any place with a door. There are four ways this situation can play out:

1. The guy opens the door for the girl.

2. The guy opens the door, enters it, and lets it close behind him so the girl is eternally trapped outside. Girls can’t open doors, but that still means he’s an asshole.

3. The girl opens the door for the guy.

4. The girl opens the door, enters it, and lets it close behind her so the guy has to open the door for himself. Guys can open doors, but that means she’s probably mad at you, so you may want to go wait in the car.

Let’s take a quick look at option 1. Whenever I open a door for a girl, I usually get one of two responses: the first is no response. That’s okay, because I open doors all the time. It’s not like I had to try very hard (I’m strong like ox), plus I usually have to walk inside anyways. The second response I might get is anger. But not REAL anger, just that weird unspoken ‘don’t-take-care-of-me’/’I-can-do-it-myself-thank-you-very-much’ kind of indignant behavior. Again. I usually don’t care. Not that big of a deal, and my lady friend can usually suck it up. Sorry, ladyfriends. 

Option 2-3, however, means that I didn’t open the door for the girl. Uh oh. In any of the above options, I would be a dick because I wasn’t being chivalrous. Girls like to throw that word around as if they know what it means, or how it pertains to society. I’m sorry, but most of you don’t, and wouldn’t like the repercussions of a chivalrous society. 

First off, I’d like to clarify that I have nothing against holding the door open for a girl. Or a guy. Really, it’s just that. It’s nice to do things for other people sometimes. Men, if you want your dates to go well, open the door for your date. 

Now, what bothers me about the idea of chivalry, is that there is an inherent expectation that women should be treated equal to, if not better than men. I’m making no statements about the value of men verses the value of women, but rather an observation. If women ought to be treated differently than men, then there’s a serious problem. Let’s take a step backwards and look at the history of chivalry. 

The part of chivalry that women all want to see is the third of a three-tier chivalrous code, under duties to women. It talks about how knights are serve their lady, and after her, all ladies- displaying gentleness and graciousness to women. Sounds great, doesn’t it, ladies?

The reason for this code had something to do with the culture and times in the 12th century. Women were not men’s equals, and furthermore, had few to no rights. Women with few to no rights who were thought to be more frail, weak, and less intelligent than men. Now, we know these things to be untrue, and come the late 1800’s to the early 1900’s we have even gone so far as to fight for women’s rights in politics and the workplace. 

All these things are good things, however, they bring up the important question of whether or not chivalry should still apply. Women, you have fought so hard to take your rightful place in society. To be treated as equals. If you’re looking for some extra kindnesses just because, you’re probably thinking a little selfishly. Have some self-respect and cut that shit out. Plenty of people will treat you the way you deserve. Don’t hound on the guys who treat you like you can open your own damn door. Because you can. 

Being super predictable (to the rebloggers)

This post goes out almost exclusively to the girls who read this blog, with the exception of the few in Nashville that actually have the ability to hit me. 

I know how to make you swoon. Observe:

Have you reblogged me yet? That’s kind of what this is about. 

I made the decision a few weeks ago to read through most of the blogs that have started following me on here- not a quick task, I might add. One of the things that disturbed me the most about that whole process was how similar everyone’s tumblr’s were. And I’m not talking about our free layouts. I’m talking about how every other page was a 14 year old girl, posting hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of other things. Just random cute, pretty, sexy, indie, shit. 

This is how most of your tumblrs look to me:

Upon opening your page, I see somewhere between 10 and 40 pictures. Half of them are .GIF images, which just means my internet speed starts making weird faces at me as I try to peruse your mostly-meaningless onslaught of reblogs. I see lots of pictures of Ryan Gosling. Lots of Ewan McGregor. Way too much “Team Edward/Jacob”. Recently, way too much “Team Gale/Peeta”. As if in some way, you showing your allegiance to a fictional character played by a terrible actor will either a) change the end of the story or b) say something about yourself, giving you reason to reblog it. 

In some ways, I can understand. I get the childish-but-cute girl bandwagon that a lot of tumblr users have hopped on. It saddens me to see the similarities, however, and more than that, it saddens me that a valuable platform for sharing thoughts and feelings through web logging has been reduced to snapshots of hot guys and cute memes. 

Sidenote, if you don’t know what a meme is, that’s okay. It’s a 4chan thing that facebook kids think they came up with. 

There is something much deeper here, though. One of the most disappoint parts of tumblr is you, my dear female readers, and your obsession with other girls. Endless, undying images of girls looking cute. Girls in their underwear. Girls on their beds smoking. Girls wearing cute shoes and nothing else. Girls taking pictures of their flat tummies and their expensive swimsuits and their fancy hair-do’s. I feel like it’s mostly women who complain about the public image of the contemporary woman. The idea of the beautiful. However, it’s you, dear ladies, who are putting the specific, skinny, fashionista, immodest, hypersexual, overly-badass woman on the pedestal. Your blogs say, “this is how a woman should look”. Your blogs say “this is how I wish I looked”. Your blogs say “I am validating this image, and by association, I am dismissing those less pretty”. 

Ladies, you’re creating a world for yourself where expectations of you are rising so high, that we run into blogs like another who follows me. The entire blog was grotesquely honest about how she hated herself. How she despised her body, and everything in her life was dedicated to losing weight and being beautiful. She constantly posted pictures of thin girls, paired with silly quotes about how the pain of _____ would be worth it when she was skinny. If all you want to be is eyecandy, then you’re clearly living in the right culture. But I want to read about you. I want to read your thoughts, and hear your original ideas. I don’t want to see shit you think is cute or pretty. I don’t want to see how you continuously demean yourself with things you wish you could have or be. 

Cut that shit out girls. Let’s fill the web with your ideals and your views on the world. I want to know the why’s. 

Ladies, seek what’s classy. A new post is coming up, but in the mean time, here’s a video my sister sent me that outlined her love for men’s fashion. I’m glad she’s not spending her days reposting pictures of Ryan Gosling shirtless and random bitches taking ‘artsy’ pictures in their underwear. 

An Apology/Thinking Marriage is Urgent When it Should be Important

It has been a long, long, long time. 

I thought about never posting again. I thought about closing this blog down.

Before I start on this post’s topic, I’d love to clarify a few things. It has come to my attention that I’m offending a lot of girls and women, and I don’t want that at all. I’m aware that the title of this blog, “Things Girls Do That Guys Hate” implies a kind of sexism. But ladies (and I think I can correctly address my audience as that now. I checked. 90% of my followers are female), you must understand that this blog is not about women at all. It’s about men. It’s just that a lot of women repost this shit.

The most common [disapproving] response I’ve gotten from women about this blog is that I really need to stop thinking I know about women. I’ve never really thought I’ve known about women. I don’t (or didn’t) think this blog portrayed me that way either. It was just supposed to be a humorous little address to the silly things that guys and gals do. I’ve tried to make sure that I haven’t made any blanket statements, such as “All girls love bread”, or “All women hate football”. Let’s be honest. I don’t need to call out those stereotypes because they already exist. I just try to write about what I see in my life, and in the lives of the women that surround me. Obviously, not a single instance can be reapplied to every woman that exists. That would be impossible. Even the most obvious of examples, like “All women have vaginas” doesn’t even apply because of the intersexed, birth defects, and modern gender reassignment surgeries. 

My point in all of this is: I’m sorry if I offended any of you, dear readers. 

Now. Onwards. Marriage. 

Things have been pretty crazy in the last few years. Many of my dear friends have gotten married, and most recently, a good friend of mine and a mentor to my career was married just a few weeks ago. The ceremony was beautiful, but I didn’t cry this time, I promise. I have before, and it can be somewhat embarrassing. 

The reason I’m writing this post, though, rather than something snarky about purses and deodorant is that it has come to my attention (sadly, only recently), that marriages are being replaced by excitement. I’m going to lay out the way I see marriage, and this may gain me a lot of disapproval, but I’m deeming it necessary to make my point. 

I believe (Opinions. Feel free to disagree with me) that God created marriage to remedy mankind’s need for union with a partner. Whether or not you believe in God or not is irrelevant to my point, however. I believe marriage as an establishment is important, because it is one of humanity’s last establishments that requires perfect loyalty and dedication. In a sense, it’s the pinnacle of human interaction, and this goes hand in hand with another heavily debated topic: sex. I believe that sex and marriage are so inseparable that we invariably mess shit up when we try to approach one without the other. For example, having sex before marriage isn’t so much a problem in and of itself, but rather, it greatly hinders marriage’s ability to be held on a pedestal above any other relationship. If I were to have sex in all my relationships, and get married later, what could I offer my wife that I haven’t already given away? Problematic. For me, at least. 

So that’s how I feel about that. 

Here are the stats: In Tennessee in 2009, about 56,000 couples were married. And about 28,000 couples got divorced. In California, the stats are closer to 210,000 marriages and 130,000 divorces. That’s fucking outrageous. 

In our current state, the odds are stacked against us. It’s estimated right now that in the United States, 50% of all marriages end in divorce, and that 65% of all second marriages end in divorce. It’s also cited frequently that the number one reason for divorce is money problems. Perhaps I’m not looking at this the right way, but I attribute this, or at least a lot of it to immaturity in marriages, and more frequently, relationships. 

Unless you are in a serious relationship with someone who has a terminal illness (A Walk To Remember status), I see no reason to rush into a marriage. The excitement of love is going to fade, I promise. Maybe not a ton, and I wish all of you readers happy, successful marriages filled with smiles, surprises, and new joys, but at some point it stops being puppy love and we are challenged to face life as adults. Getting married too young usually means two things: not being mature enough to fully understand the weight and importance of marital fidelity for the next 60-70 odd years, and lack of a stable income. 

I’m not saying that people who get married at 30 aren’t going to make poor fiscal decisions or cheat. I’m just saying that 20-year-olds are probably much more susceptible to that. I don’t have a problem with marriage at all, and I hope to one day enjoy one of my own. But if I’m living under the poverty line and attending a school right now, I’m probably not even going to consider marriage. What kind of a life could I provide for my bride if I’m struggling to make rent by myself. How would I be able to focus on being a good husband if I can barely be a good person? Can I take the meager wages I earn now and turn it into a career that would support another person, not to mention a family later? I have a long way to go, and so do a lot of you. 

So if we’re not ready, why are we all sprinting towards marriage like it could be a disappearing fad? I’ll tell you all something- marriage isn’t going anywhere. In fact, its one of the oldest human traditions that exists. Older than facebook. Older that xanga blogs. Older than the internet. Older than statistics. Older than America. Older than the respective countries that brought us to where we are. It’s here to stay. 

I think a big part of marriage that allures young couples isn’t even so much the years and years of living together. The permissible sex. The inevitable arguments. The children. I think the process has become the attractive part. Oh, you’re getting married? Good for you. I’m going to pay attention to you for x number of months, give you shit, and come to your expensive ceremony. I’m not being bitter here, I just think young couples eat that shit up. We want to show off our engagement rings. We want to arrive at a party as an ‘ascended’ couple. We want to tell our bro’s how badass our proposal was. Maybe even hint at how much we dropped on those fucking blood diamonds. 

Yeah. Diamonds. Don’t get me started on diamonds. 

I really do want to assure you all that I don’t hate marriages, newlyweds, or engaged couples. I can’t describe to you how much joy I’ve felt over the impending marriages of my closest friends. I just think we blow the whole process out of proportion. Couples hit that longer-than-a-short-relationship point, whether it be 6 months, a year, or 3. The next step is just.. marriage. Might as well, right? 

No. 

Well, yes, but let’s be realistic. Are the reasons you’re getting married right now credible in the long run? I know you love your boyfriend/girlfriend. I loved mine. Doesn’t mean I should have gotten married at the time, and yes, I wanted to at times. I am not the person I want my wife to marry yet. And more than likely, my wife is not the woman that I want to marry yet, whether or not I’ve even met her. 

Couples, look to marriage. Take comfort in it. Embrace it. But it’s not just the next step in your relationship. It’s not just tying your man down. It’s not just scoring that babe for real. It’s a whole lot more than that, and at times, it’ll feel like a whole lot less than that. I’ve been criticized before, told that there is no ‘perfect’ time to get married. There will always be one more thing to do to get ready. To prepare for it. And I agree with that. 

But really kids, grow the fuck up. You wouldn’t buy a house before you could afford it. You wouldn’t invest all your money in some mutual fund if you didn’t have a back-up plan (or maybe you would.. dumb). Prepare yourself for adulthood. Prepare yourself for marriage and all its joys and hardships. They come together. 

Last of all, don’t let yourself be talked into anything. Communicate with your partner, and share your disagreements. But also, communicate with someone outside of your couple-bubble. Because I’ve seen how couples can convince themselves of anything. First hand. I’m talking about myself here. Meet with a parent. A trusted (and ideally, wise) friend. A pastor. Marital counselors who aren’t associated with your family. Look for reasons not to. I know that sounds morbid, but you’ll hear every reason in the world to get hitched. But it’s those small things you didn’t think of that’ll wreck your relationship with your partner- and you don’t want that to be irreparable damage. 

Done for now. I care about you all. 

-Seiji

Participating in “Look-At-Me” Social Media.

I’m going there.

We all know those girls. And I even have some really great friends who do this. I hope they don’t get offended. But they probably will. But I don’t care that much. They know I love them.

Really, though. In this day and age, we’re surrounded by a silly amount of ways to stay in touch with one another. Cell Phones have at least two, and sometimes more (for those of you who participate in the global phenomenon of smart phones) ways of reaching people. Email gets messages to people in less than 20 seconds. Instant messengers. Snail mail. 

But social media. That takes the cake. I don’t even know what that expression means anymore.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with using Facebook. It’s a useful tool, and besides the people who just post dumb statuses every 2 hours (sometimes more), I’m usually okay with people on there. What really gets me, though, are those sites just meant for (mostly) pretty girls to look good so everyone can tell them how great they are. 

I’m talking, of course, about sites like dailybooth. Lookbook. Stickam. 

Okay, let’s talk a moment about Stickam. It was sort of a good idea. This site allowed people to create an account that linked to their webcam (or for us Apple owners, iSights), so that people could have big group chats and stare at someone typing on their keyboard. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought Skype existed by then?

This site could have been a really great tool for bands, in my opinion. I know tons of kids who would have loved to see their favorite artists hanging out in the studio, and more so, to have been given the opportunity to interact with them. It could have been a cool thing for celebrities to be in contact for us normal folk. But no. What it became was an ugly, cluttered site for girls to just talk to 60 boys at once (most of whom they didn’t know), and tease them with a message every 2.3 hours about what they were doing that night. It was like a porncam without any gratification. Just people looking at someone. Kinda dumb. 

No. It was really dumb.

Lookbook is a bit of a weird site, and not quite as villainous as Stickam. I’ll begin this rant by saying that this site is usually pretty tasteful. Also, I’m a pretty decent fan of fashion. I dated a girl who was obsessed with it, and my sister is a clothing designer who was asked to work for Nordstrom’s fashion board years before she graduated high school. So I’m not entirely fashion-inept. But this website is something else- mostly because it is solely pictures.

How normal people (usually fashion-obsessed girls) react to Lookbook: “Wow. That outfit is incredible! What a daring mix of classy and slightly risqué! I love the way she’s using a piece of paper for a hat. It’s a brilliant response to popular culture’s suggestion for what is and is not an acceptable piece of headwear! How brilliantly faux pa!”

How I react to Lookbook: “Bang. Marry. Marry. Marry. [scroll down] Oh, gosh. Kill. Definitely bang. Bang. Marry…”

It’s not that I don’t appreciate some of those guys and girls self-proclaimed sense of style… It’s just that I can’t quite get over how the website is literally just a place for people to show off how damned stylish they are. That’s all it is. And then of course, with websites like this, you get the annoying girls (sometimes guys, but not too often) who just re-post the pictures ALL THE DAMNED TIME on their tumblr’s. You look at their blog, and it’s just super trendy pictures of super trendy people. And that’s it. 

I guess that says a lot about someone’s personality. 

Worst of all, however, is this website that I think is relatively new. It’s called dailybooth. All it is, to my knowledge, is a place for people to take a picture of themselves with their webcam, and post it. That’s it. Then, people can comment on their pictures. What you end up seeing is just a bunch of mediocre looking girls smiling (I know that was a douche thing to say. Sorry), and then everyone once in a while, some hot girl just lounging on her couch in a bikini with a craftily draped cardigan. Really? You want to be that girl? 

Crafty girl: “Just enjoying the sunlight with some coffee!”

Me: “Wow. You’re wearing underwear and a cardigan? We are not looking at the sunlight or the coffee.”

Crafty girl: “It’s just what I had on! I didn’t even think about that..”

Me: “Reeeeally?”

Crafty girl: “Yeah.”

Hmmm. I call horse shit.

Girls, I love you. Just don’t be that girl who spends time online trying to post pictures of how hot you are. Or if you do, at least be honest about it. Because that whole “Oh, this is just something I threw on, and I didn’t even see my bedazzled macbook take a photobooth picture.” thing doesn’t fly with me. I surprise myself when I say this, but modesty is a good policy. If we want to see pretty girls wearing close to nothing, there are websites for that. And you don’t want to be associated with those girls.

So cut that shit out, girls. And guys. Yeah, definitely guys too. If I see a guy post a picture of himself in a bikini and a cardigan, I may vomit.

-Seiji. 

Giving bad hugs.

Come on, now. This is being-a-girl-101. If you can’t give a good hug, and you’re a girl, you are simply failing, in one way or another. 

First off, let me state that you girls have a natural advantage when it comes to hugging.

  1. You have hips. You are ergonomically designed for arms to be around you. You are physically designed for men to want there arms around you.
  2. You have boobs. You are made with incredibly attractive impact cushioning. There’s a reason why girls tell fat guys they give better hugs. It’s because they do. It’s the closest they can get to having actual boobs. Also, its another reason why guys want their arms around you.
  3. You are typically shorter than us. Your arms will fit perfectly in the space below OUR arms. No tip-toes or hunching over required

This being said, you are without excuse. Your shitty hugs kind of suck. Yes. They do. Here are a few of the terrible hugs you give:

  • The “Side-Hug”: You know this one. We all do. It’s just plain awkward. The only, only, only time this is acceptable is if you are not greeting someone and not saying goodbye. You are pulling the ‘I-know-we’ve-been-hanging-out-but-I-want-you-to-know-I-think-you’re-cool’ thing. That is when it’s okay. Also, this should typically include walking next to the person you’re hugging. There is no reason for two people facing each other in a greeting to give someone a side-hug. It requires one, or both, of you to turn. That’s just plain unnecessary. 
  • The “Wet-Noodle”: This is just lazy. The perfect hug is not a vice-grip, but I’m pretty positive I speak for most guys when I say that we prefer a firm hug over one that feels uninspired. Here are some tips: Get pumped about your hug. You’re about to make someone’s day, and you can make a difference in their mood if your hug is right. If a guy’s feeling down on himself (which happens more than you may realize), a proper hug could send him soaring. A limp, unconvincing hug will only make someone feel unimportant, or at least cheated out of affection.
  • The “Sticky-Out-Butt-Hug”: Non-commital. But it looks dumb, and it feels dumb. If you’re trying to hug with the least amount of bodily contact possible, you shouldn’t be hugging. Really. It’s more of an insult than anything else. Kind of in the same vein as the wet noodle. It feels insincere. 

Moral of the story is, just do it right. There are no rules. Just don’t be lame. Hug for a decent amount of time. Not too short, where we’ll feel like you wanted to get out of it. Not too long, where we’ll worry you’re a stage-5 clinger. You can feel out what’s decent. Try the length of a deep inhale and exhale. Also, if you want to be an extra special hug, for someone you may actually like (fancy that), girls, try arms on top. I know, I know. Crazy hug positions. But let’s be honest. When the girls’ arms are on top, it feels more endearing. Guys like endearing. 

And I’m talking about when we feel like we’re dear to you. Not when you call us “pookie”.

Also, if you’re gonna get crazy, don’t be afraid to let your cheeks touch. It really has nothing to do with the sexual tension, or romantic aspect. The thing about a hug is, you feel valued when someone’s willing to be close to you. Some of the best huggers I know make me feel valued. Even though I may not even know them well. It’s because I don’t feel like I’m repulsive around them. Think about it. You say a lot about how you feel about someone by the way you hug them. 

Communication is key. 

Love, Seiji.

Ladies and gents, the man every man (should) wish he could be. The man every woman (should) wish she could be with. 
Happy Birthday, Bob Dylan.

Ladies and gents, the man every man (should) wish he could be. The man every woman (should) wish she could be with. 

Happy Birthday, Bob Dylan.

Complaining about the “first move”

Oh golly. Here we go with a big one. 

Someone emailed me, not intending for this topic to be on this blog. We were catching up, talking about her new(ish) boyfriend, and I asked her how he asked her out. Pretty weird question for a guy to ask, but it is what it is. 

She was telling me that it took him forever to make the first move for everything. Asking her out. Their first hand-hold. Their first kiss. I guess that’s problematic for a lot of guys. I know it always has been for me. Here’s a bit of insight from a semi-shy guy, at least in terms of romance. 

Ladies, if there’s one things guys can’t stand, it’s rejection. I know that’s a weird thing to think about when you’re with your boyfriend. How can he feel rejection when we’re already dating? 

I had a girlfriend once, who I never kissed. I asked her if I should have kissed her earlier, and she told me she didn’t want to. She wasn’t sure if she ever wanted to. Rejection. It’s something to chuckle about now, but at the time, it stung a little bit. Girls, that is the reason guys hesitate. To avoid that conversation (however rare it may be). 

Believe it or not, most guys aren’t assholes. I know. Crazy. 

Now, I’m going to preface this by repeating that most guys aren’t assholes. There are some. And those guys are.. well, assholes. But the majority of us (I’d like to think that I’m included in this) aren’t, and the last thing we want is to be the boy that girls complain about. 

Complaining girl: “He only thinks with his dick! Everything’s about touching me, and being close, and I’m just not ready yet, but he just keeps on pushing!” 

I know girls don’t talk like that. But you get the idea. 

We don’t want to be the guy who seems over-eager, or way too horny. Because quite frankly, that’s kind of pathetic. We also don’t want to make this ridiculous leap from hugs to a *gasp* kiss, and have our girl tell us she isn’t, or worse, wasn’t ready. This obviously pertains to a lot of steps in a relationship. Not just kissing. But I’ll let my mature readers fill in those blanks. 

So girls, next time you feel like you’re waiting around for your man to make a move, go ahead and tell him. Gently. Honestly, if a guy is in a relationship with a girl, 9 times out of 10, he’s been ready to take a step forward long before she has. While you’re waiting for the move, we’re waiting for the green light. 

Also, guys won’t be put off with the blunt simplicity of “Hey babe. I’m ready for you to kiss me,” or something to that effect. So girls. Don’t make us worry about being douche bags. Because we actually care about you, and what you want (most of the time), so give us a break. Help a brother out. 

Also, a quick chauvinistic comment: girls who think that guys should make the first move- let me tell you when chivalry died.

Chivalry died when women were allowed to wear pants.

It died when women were given the right to vote.

It died when women were given job opportunities equal to men. 

Don’t misquote me, I’m not trying to say any of these things are bad. In fact, I think a female voice in society is probably one of the best things that has happened to America in a while. But you can’t pick and choose which gender traditions you want to hold onto. 

Sorry for the quick, off-topic rant. Love you, ladies. Remember, if you’re waiting on your beau, talk to him. Communication is key. 

-Seiji

Refusing Compliments

Hello again! It’s been a few days, and as I’ve had little time to sort through the requests for posts on TGDTGH, I’m just going to pick the top one. 

Girls, I personally am all for humility. It’s especially helpful in the vein of me not hating you. Not that I hate arrogant girls, but you know. I do. 

As a rule of thumb, it can be said that girls are beautiful, desirable humans. While not all of you may be attractive to me, I am a firm believer that (and I mean this in the most encouraging way possible), there is a fetish for every human variation. By that I mean, if you’re short, there’s a guy out there who loves short girls. If you’re curvy, there’s a guy out there who loves curvy girls. The list continues infinitely. The problem with human nature is that all of us suffer from an spirit of dissatisfaction. Contentedness seems to be a convenience that very few of us share, and it leads to frustration, especially in romanticism. 

Ladies, I implore you to search yourself and find a place where you can be happy with your personality. Your body. Your situation. Not everything will be fun and frankly, less will be what you hoped for, but there is a purpose for who you are, and your life constantly reflects your willingness to pursue that purpose. That said, I’d like to ask you to do us guys a favor, which is far from crazy. Please, please, please accept our compliments. 

If a guy sees you in a coffee shop and tells you that you look nice, say thank you! Bounce a comment back, even. You don’t have to be facilitating an open flirt by appreciating a man’s rare desire to build you up. Therefore, accept it. He really does think your dress is pretty. 

I’m gonna be honest here. If I don’t think your hair looks nice today, I probably wouldn’t tell you otherwise. So the common response “You’re just saying that!” means absolutely nothing, and holds no water. We went out on a limb to tell you something we enjoy about you. Don’t throw it back at us. 

Two things that men can’t stand is feeling emasculated and being exposed as hyper-sensitive. While that’s not true for all of us, it’s a bit embarrassing when we’re left hanging there after telling you that your makeup looks pretty. So, damn it, just say thank you. Smile. Kiss us. Anything. Take the compliment, please. 

There is something distinctly unattractive about a girl who thinks she’s nothing special. Especially when we as guys have to constantly tell you that you’re beautiful. Not because we want to anymore, but because we feel like you have some weird, misguided view on yourself. It’s annoying, and it’s unnecessary. At the end of the day, how many women do you see out there who are just left barren and alone, because no one could love them? Not that many. But how many do you see in their late teens to young adulthood, depressed and broken over the thought that they’re worthless and ugly? Far too many. Chances are, too, they’re not worthless and definitely not ugly. 

I’m just going to throw this out there too- if you’re a girl, and fit into this category, but you’re acting this way to fish for compliments… cut that shit out. You won’t be made any more attractive or valuable by the appreciation of man (generic man this time. Not male). You were fearfully and carefully made, beautiful and with an end-goal in mind. That’s where you should hunt for your value, not in us. Because sooner or later, we’ll cut you down. Probably because you’re being annoying. 

Girls, we love you. Stop being dumb. 

Love, the boys.